The Elder Scrolls: Tales of the Nerevarine

Dalamus looked at the statue before looking at the other. "At this point I wouldn't surprised if that thing came to life." He said to himself.

Aldarilar nodded in agreement and went to the statue and took a closer look at it.

With Dalamus' words there was a rumbling sound, as the room began to shake. Then, with a flash of light the pony that the statue depicted appeared in front of them. He stood on his hind legs, leaning on his staff and pulling at his beard with his left hoof. His eyes were milky white, but followed the groups every move, so he clearly was not blind. His suit, which had looked strange even on the statue, was more so in reality, being split into two different colors right down the middle, his right side red, and the left violet.

"Ask, and you shall receive," he said with a simple bow. "Now who was it that summoned me with the ceremonial cheese? And where is my traditional message of greeting carved into the back of a Zebra concubine?"

"Oh..um..nice to meet you..?" Aldarilar was confused. "We were lead here by some strange pony, who throw all this stuff." He pointed at cheese and everything else. "Along the road. And he asked to bring him his..fork, that kinda hurt our friend there. "He nodded at Chrystyna.

"Were you now? By whom? Wait! Wait, don't tell me, I want to guess," the stallion said, putting on an expression of deep thought. "Was it Molag? No, no... Little Tim, the toymaker's son? The ghost of King Lysandus? Or was it... Yes! Stanley, that talking grapefruit from Passwall. Wrong on all accounts, aren't I?" he asked with a sigh. "Hmph, no matter! I don't really want to know. Why spoil the surprise? But more to the point. Do you - tiny, puny, expendable little mortals - actually think you can convince me to take it? Because that's... crazy. You do realize who you're dealing with here?"

"Someone who's clearly insane?" Dalamus said.

"Jolly good guess," the stallion replied in a serious tone. "But only partially correct. I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years. Now you. You can call me Ann Marie. But only if you're partial to being flayed alive and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails. If not... Then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed."

"So..eh...what with all these cheese and this fork, sir Sheogorath?"

"What? You don't like cheese? That's...madness," the mad stallion said, feigning offense. "But as to the fork, no. Nope. Not a thing I can do about it. At least...not until you do something for me."

"Why is this the first thing to happen today that actually makes sense." Dalamus said to himself before turning his attention back to the mad god. "So what exactly to you want us to do?"

"Exactly? Exactly? You are speaking to the god of madness and dementia and you want me to be exact? Ha! I like you. You remind me of my youth, back when all I cared about was riding narwhals, sleeping in honeycombs, and drinking babies' tears,' the god said with a large hint of nostalgia. "And a tip if you ever ride a narwhal...mind the horn."

Chrystyna plays along with the mad god, "What would you demand of us o' lord of throwing sharp implements at small woodland creatures?"

"Young lady, do I look like Hircine to you? Ha! Nononono no. I prefer things to be more interesting than that. But you, you're making my teeth itch! Now what is it? Do you want me to take the fork or not? Because quite frankly, I was in the middle of doing the fish-stick. It's a very delicate state of mind."

"Yes please, lord of madness," she offered the fork.

"Not so fast. The deal is, you take care of a little problem for me, and I'll take the fork, and remove the curse from you. Not before."

"Great. So what's the problem? Need us to kill someone? Burn something? Burn someone?" He asked.

"Not exactly. One of my many followers lives out north. He was once a very important part of his village, but as of late, the villagers have shunned him. You will go there, and help him teach those boring fools the error of their ways," the Mad God said with a grin.

"Oh, and I almost forgot, can't have the gang all broken up," he said, and with a flick of his left hoof, Nakuma appeared in the room with the group, only instead of wearing her armor like she normally would, she was wearing a poofy purple dress.

At first Aldarilar was stunned by Nakuma's appearance, but then he tried his best to suppress laugh.

Nakuma blinked and looked around at the group. "How did I..." She paused at the sudden lack of tight leather and looked down before her face dropped. "Why?"

"There we are. Now it's a party! But you must be off. No wait! Yes. No. Yes! Right. Off you go then, before I change my mind. I have been known to do that." With that, the mad god stomped his staff against the ground, and there was a flash of blinding light.

[Everyone roll D10s for Luck]

[7]

(3)

(9)

Zeus(3)
Ghostwolf(8)

The group was teleported to a small island in the sheograd region on the northern coast of Vvardenfell. Aldarilar appeared perfectly upright and normal, albeit slightly shaken. Ari and Nakuma appeared and had a bit rougher of a landing, but were still completely unharmed. Dalamus and Chrystyna, on the other hand were not so lucky, and appeared several feet above the ground, landing hard.

The small island was relatively featureless, except for a large mushroom growing on top of it, at the base of which there was a small wooden shack. The small shack would look completely normal, if it wasn't for the several wheels of assorted cheeses hanging from hooks around the lip of the roof.

"Ugh...I never experience teleportation before..." He looked at Chrystyna and Dalamus. "Though I got lucky..need any help?"

Nakuma groaned and started pulling off the frilly dress. "What in Sithis' name is going on?" she asked nobody in particular with a feral tone.

"I'm fine," she groaned. She stood up slowly, stumbled a little, and righted herself.

"You were brought in some kind of shrine to Mad God, he brought you there and..looks like he changed your armor to some kind of attire." He politely turned away from Nakuma. "You have armor with yourself to change?"

"Not a fan of naked mares?" the zebra asked and threw the dress aside before looking in her bag. "At least he was nice enough to put my armor in here." She thought about pulling the dark armor out, but decided to enjoy the breeze for a while first.

"No, I'm fan of naked mares, I just though you would feel uncomfortable if I would stare at you, while you change."

"If I felt uncomfortable, I wouldn't have stripped with you all around," she pointed out with a coy smile.

Shrugs. "Last time we've meet, you wasn't so....open about yourself." Aldarilar smiled, but didn't turn around.

Dalamus laid on the ground and rubbed the back of his head. "Ow. Remind me never to get teleported again." Dalamus got up and noticed Nakuma. "Great, looks like I actually died and went to hell."

"The feeling is mutual," Nakuma groaned at Dalamus.

"Clearly not, since you don't seem to have a problem being naked in front of me." Dalamus pointed out. "Didn't think you'd miss me that much," snarked.

"Maybe I'm getting naked for my big friend here," Nakuma sneered and snapped her tail against Ari's leg. "Or maybe I just like the feeling of wind and sand in my hair."

"You keep telling yourself that." Dalamus said as he walked past the zebra. "Just try to control yourself so that we never have to talk to each other after this."

Nakuma stuck her tongue out at him and looked at the others. "So what are we doing here?"

"Apparently we're helping some daedra worshiper teach his village a lesson. From what I've seen so far that'll probably mean serving them fondue."

"Oh, great," Nakuma groaned. "Wait, fondue?"

"Fancy melted cheese."

"I know that, why would we use it?"

"Because we're doing a favor for the god of madness, and he apparently has a fascination with cheese."

"Okay, and why does that mean I need to be here? I don't even like cheese."

"Because the god of madness wanted you to be here."

"And I'd rather not know what he'll do if we don't do this." Dalamus said as he began to make his way to the shack. "He did put you in a dress after all."

"Oooo, a dress. How horrifying," the mare chided and started walking away from the building. "I'll risk that."

{Camo, make a luck roll}

[4]

Nakuma heard a voice echoing inside her head:

With a audible crack, Nakuma's pearly white stripes turned a bright shade of neon green.